Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Balloon animal protocol

I promised I would write this down one day. A tid bit if you will.
Balloon animals... seemingly harmless... seemingly.

Oh how I wish I had been given the low down on this before I had a second child. It's very simple really and allows you to avoid the possibility of  a scene that makes the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan look like Milo and Otis frolicking through a meadow. Although I probably should say that I'm pretty sure the filming of Milo and Otis involved some priiiitty questionable goings on... animal welfare wise. There's a definite lack of a "no animals were harmed in the making of this movie" disclaimer in the credits. I've checked. A lot. Anyways, I digress...

So here it is. When purchasing balloon animals for children, always, ALWAYS, let the older child choose their balloon first. I know it's tempting to appease the little one who's clawing at your thigh and eyeballing the balloon dude like a junky waiting for their next hit from a crack cocaine dealer, but please, resist. Once the older child has their hands on their pirate sword balloon, THEN, and only then, allow the 3 foot maniac to choose their balloon. They WILL change their mind from the butterfly to the sword, and they will not be swayed to change it back. Easy. Crisis averted. Scene avoided. No need to carry a screaming child sideways on your hip, balloon butterfly in mouth, whilst getting kicked in the stomach, back to the car park. No need to cut short your foolishly envisaged idyllic romp through the Botanical Gardens in the sunshine (fool). Nope.

You're welcome.

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